Few months ago I set a goal in my head. In spite of being incredibly positive about it, I thought this was another of those fascinations that possess me and maybe I might not feel the same about it few months from now, then 😉
Today, I would like to believe otherwise, though. The goal and my wobbly yet persistent steps towards it has become more of a journey now. I remember reading in my Political Science text how an issue based movement often becomes a broad based movement- with bigger goals, bigger possibilities, bigger hopes and aspirations. On similar lines, I think this little fantasy of mine might have become something of a broad based idea!
And here’s why…
Having walked on the road of my goal or say, my pursuit (just so it sounds a little less rough and a little more romantic) there are two things that I’ve realised.
1. I’m far from it.. *Smack!*
And 2, considering that it is going to be a long and demanding journey there and having accepted it, a lot of other smaller learnings and aspirations are coming to light which make this long and demanding journey a little less demanding and a little more rewarding. And quite interesting really.
Here are a few lessons that I have picked on the way until now.
1. WHY matters.
I was at a friend’s Christmas program once and listening to the pastor talk about the intentions behind our actions. And it had stuck in my head since. However, it is only now that I have begun to really grasp the depth of it.
Why am I here? Why am I doing THIS? Why is this worth the struggle? Why not the easy way out?…. Why me? From little pursuits to the big aspiration, I have begun to question the purpose and intention behind doing it. It is a complicated maze, Right Intention-Wrong Ambition, Wrong Intention-Right Ambition, Wrong Intention- Wrong Ambition and finally, Right Intention and Right Ambition.
And until I cannot convince myself of the credibility of my actions towards my pursuit, what is the point of bearing with either the pain or the praise?
2. Being organised helps.
Be it our heads or our workspace (in my case both are unnecessarily and invariable cluttered), it helps to clear the mess. So you can breathe and focus only on what deserves your attention. Chuck the unnecessary junk out. And that happens only when we figure out what is it that we want to focus on, instead.
Our commitment to ourselves and to our aspiration. It is what gets us out of bed at 6 am on winter mornings, what makes us take an extra step which we wouldn’t otherwise, what makes me put down a Classic for the History text. And all the while, the one thought that echoes in my head is ‘It is not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it’. And that helps.
4. Things work out:
That is something I have begun to believe after a few incidences. Sometimes we hit a roadblock in spite of doing everything in our hand and beyond. And at times like these, I’ve protested, cried and ended up utterly frustrated and helpless. What I chose to do now, along with (rather after) this episode is BELIEVE. Believe in my cause and pursuit and keep working towards it for eventually, things do work out!.. They have until now. And when they don’t, there is always a reason for it.
5. Begin as a beginner.
I was watching the trailer of a movie recently in which there was a dialogue that said “जो मूळात शुन्यावर असतो त्याला हारण्याची भिती नस्ते” (He who is at the rock bottom has no fear of losing). There is a certain sense of ease and freedom in starting with the attitude of a beginner. One, It gets the ego out of the way and two, that opens your mind to whatever is being taught and get a new perspective on things. Also, there is no fear of lose and no reason to prove anything.
6. why are we so hard on ourselves?
I think that often, when I’m out of breath, when i think I’m not good enough or doing well enough, when I’m measuring myself against perfection and not reality. Sometimes it is better to stop and catch a breath. Look back see how far we’ve come rather than constantly getting worked up over how far we have to go. A personal hallelujah! And when there’s no one around to pat our backs, giving ourselves that little, well deserved pat!
So these were some of my learnings in recent times I experienced moving towards my pursuit. While at it or may be because of it I have begun to see things anew, appreciate things anew and see myself anew. That could be just one of the many ‘Why’s that I continue to pursue it. Whatever our goals may be, whether we make it there or no (though it is best to settle for nothing short of it) it is also equally true that the journey leading to it is what actually builds us and makes the whole adventure worthwhile.. 🙂